I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
