I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
