clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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