did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
