You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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