she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
