i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
MIDGETS
????
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
