i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
