He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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