Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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