it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
