My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
