some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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