You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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