I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
