He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
