So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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