The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
