Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
