That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
