its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
