i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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