I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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