i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
