He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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