Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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