dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
