Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
