I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
