he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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