that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
