i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
