I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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