Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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