am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
