She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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