Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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