youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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