So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
