Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
