Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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