enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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