Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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