My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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