I should be sponsored by Trojan
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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