you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
