i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
