Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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