Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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