dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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