Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
