he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
