I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
