Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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