I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
