I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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