dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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